The Internet has long been touted as a way for people toconnect, and gay men realized early on that the World Wide Web could be used asa de facto neighborhood gay bar. But cyberspace can also have the oppositeeffect. Amid the thousands of people online in various chat rooms and hookupsites, gay men can feel alone and isolated from the community.

Bradford Tieu, a longtime Gay.com member, recently decidedto try an experiment. What if he could get the men he often saw online in theSan Francisco chat rooms to meet offline for activities that had nothing to dowith sex and more to do with forming friendships?

One by one Tieu contacted various guys who said they enjoyedoutdoor activities, like hiking and skiing, and asked them to join a new onlinegroup called Outdoorsboysclub.

"I thought it would just be a better outlet for guys tomeet instead of just passing around STDs online," said Tieu."Everybody tells me it has always been something they wanted to do butthat they don't know where to start."

In just two weeks 52 guys have expressed interest in thegroup and the first get-together, a kayaking trip on Half Moon Bay, is set forthis weekend. Tieu said even though he wasn't expecting such a large response,it shouldn't be that surprising to anyone who has spent a lot of time online.

"I just think any of the online stuff gets tiringreally quickly. I think they are looking for other outlets where hopefully thegay stuff is not always involving sex all the time," said Tieu. "Itis just that a lot of these guys are home and lonely and they want to do thingstogether but they have nobody to do it with. I wanted to provide an outlet forthem to go out, enjoy the outdoors and guess what, hopefully you will meetsomebody, too. That would be an added bonus."

Tieu is not alone in trying to change guy's online habits.Two local agencies have also launched new initiatives aimed at helping gay menuse the Internet in healthier ways. Internet Sexuality Information Services isdistributing small pocketsize brochures that contain advice for hooking uponline.

, as in not lying about yourself orusing another person's photo as your own, to protective, warning that strangerswith backpacks "may borrow stuff."

"A lot of men are finding their sex partners online andwe wanted to help them to have healthier experiences in their onlinepursuits," said Tom Kennedy, director of health communications at ISIS.

According to ISIS, the brochure is the first of its kind toapproach Internet hookups from an HIV prevention perspective. The CaliforniaAIDS Clearinghouse, a state-sponsored program to fund prevention programs, awardedISIS a grant to produce the brochures in the Bay Area and may extenddistribution to other areas next year. ISIS is handing out 3,000 copies of eachbrochure.

Kennedy said the primary reason ISIS decided to create thebrochures was to encourage men to have more continuity in how they behaveoffline and how they behave online.

"The people hooking up online are the same people yousee at parties, clubs, or walking down the street. Often people adopt adifferent persona when they go online. One of our goals is to encourage men tobe more like themselves online and treat each other with respect online as wellas offline," he said. "When people are online it is easy to losetouch with social reality. People begin to think the people who they aree-mailing aren't actually real people and aren't deserving of the same respectand consideration that they would treat someone with if they met them at aparty."

"There is, in some pockets of men online, a feeling of'I can do anything and it is okay.' That is harmful to the community. It makesa lot of gay men feel like they don't fit into the gay community or people inthe community are only out for one thing," said Kennedy. "A lot ofgay men are looking for safe, healthy connections with other men. If we allcould start treating each other more respectfully, I think the sense ofcommunity could really improve."

So far, gay men have been responding positively to ISIS'attempt at fostering online etiquette among gay men. Joey Perguidi, a Gay.commember, said the effort is needed and would like to see more men be polite andhonest about why they are online.

He said the men online are either "just all about onething – hooking up – or if they don't want to talk to you theyignore you. Instead of saying they don't want to talk to you or they're notinterested in chatting or whatever. People just need to be upfront and honestabout stuff."

"The goal of all these different efforts – thebrochures, forum, and Internet-based work – is to help gay men to be ableto use the Internet in a positive, proactive, sexually healthy way," saidKarl Knapper, Stop AIDS' Internet intervention coordinator. "We are nothere to judge people and tell them what they should and shouldn't do. It ismore about the fact that when people are informed they make better decisionsabout their health."

Knapper said the forum is designed to be a tutorial to helpmen better maximize the time they do spend online. Topics will cover how towrite an online profile, tips to refresh old profiles, and ways to bettercommunicate with people in chat rooms. The main goal, said Knapper, is to getgay men to be more honest about what they are really looking for online.

"If you really want a relationship don't say you arelooking to hookup. We are trying to get guys to understand that being upfrontand honest is not going to keep them from what they want," he said."They think if they do that they will be rejected. The truth is for everyperson who rejects you there is someone who really does have the same tastesand interests you have."

One misperception men have of gay chat rooms is thateveryone on there is looking for the same thing, said Knapper. In truth,people's reasons for logging on can change from day to day or year to year.

"It depends where people are in their evolution as agay man. Someone who just starts coming out and goes online might be lookingfor community and support that way. As they get a circle of friends they usethe Internet for other things. Not everyone online is in the same stage oftheir life as a gay person," he said.

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